The Dangers of turning away from Marriage: On the Individual & on Society

When young men & women turn away from marriage, which Allah legislated, & when their guardian or society places obstacles in the way to prevent them from getting married, dangerous sicknesses will prevail, shaking the individual as well as the structure of the society.

The Most Dangerous of those Sicknesses

1. The religious danger & the danger having to do with the Hereafter: The one who is submerged in fulfilling his lust & desires in a non-lawful manner becomes afflicted with total aversion to the religion; thus he becomes miserable both in this life & the next.
2. The health danger: When members of a society turn away from marriage, venereal diseases become rampant.
3. The psychological & mental danger: Sexual deviation that results from not marrying leads to many kinds of mental disorders.
4. The social danger: Many dangers associated with dissolution & moral degeneracy become realities; moreover, families become destroyed, children are born to single mothers, misery becomes widespread, & family becomes no more.
5. The economic danger: One who feels no responsibility to his wife & children squanders his wealth & is unproductive in his work.

[Credit goes to 'What Must Be Known About Islam', a comprehensive book, compiled by Muhammad bin 'Ali Al-Arfaj, translated by Darussalam, global leaders in Islamic books.]

Risks involved in treating Sins lightly

Allah (SWT) has made repentance obligatory, saying:

O you, who have believed, repent to Allah with sincere repentance. [Surah at-Tahreem 66:8]

He has granted us time to repent until the angels register the sin in our names. The Prophet (SAW) said:

The scribe (i.e., angel) on the left hand delays registering the sin of a Muslim for six hours*. If he repents (within these six hours*) and seeks Allah's forgiveness, they leave it out. If he does not, they write it down as a single sin. [At-Tabarani & al-Bayhaqi - hasan]

This is the first respite. Even if it is registered, a second respite is given until the appearance of death before one's eyes. If a person sincerely repents before that time, the sin is still deleted from his record.
The problem for most people is that they do not consider the Majesty of their Lord as they should. They disobey Him in multiple ways - day and night.
To make things worse, some are mislead by the notion that "minor sins" are inconsequential. A man may justify his actions, saying, for instance, "What harm is there in looking at that woman?" or "Of what consequence is a handshake with her?" Accordingly, he stares freely at pictures of women in magazines or at those appearing on television. When told that there is sin in it, a person with this mentality may go a step further and inquire in amusement, "What is the magnitude of the sin involved? Is it a major one or minor?"
Compare this attitude with that of the Prophet's companions.
Anas said:

You imagine certain sins to be more insignificant than straw, but at the time of the Prophet (SAW), we used to count them among those that can destroy a man. [Al-Bukhari]

Ibn Mas'ud said:

A believer treats a sin as if it is a mountain over his head that may fall on him at any moment, whereas a regular violator looks at them as a fly landed on his nose which he waves away with his hand. [Al-Bukhari]

Furthermore, the Prophet (SAW) said:

Beware of minor sins. The example of minor sins is like that of a group of travelers who camped in a valley. Then one of them brought a twig. Another came with another (and a third with one more) until they had gathered enough to cook their food. (Remember,) when a man is held for questioning (on the Day of Judgement) for his minor sins, they will destroy him. [Ahmad - saheeh]

In another version, he (SAW) is reported to have said:

Beware of minor sins, for they add up until they destroy a man. [Ahmad - saheeh]

Scholars have upheld that when minor sins are committed without any remorse, without the fear of Allah, and accompanied by contempt, then they will be counted as major sins. Thus, the saying, "There is no minor sin with persistence and no major sin with repentance." Therefore, it can be said to one who commits minor sins, "Do not look whether the sin is small or large. Look to Him whom you have disobeyed."
It is hoped that these words about taking sins lightly will benefit those who are true in faith, are not seduced by delinquencies, nor are of those that insist upon wrong. In fact, these words will benefit those who believe in the following words of Allah:
Inform My servants that it is I who am the Forgiving, the Merciful, and that it is My punishment which is the painful punishment. [Surah al-Hijr 15:49-50]

*Which may refer to the hours measured by the earth's rotation or simply short periods of the night or day.

[Credit goes to 'I Would Like To Repent But!' by Muhammad Saleh al-Munajjid.]

Shirk & its Categories

There are two kinds of Shirk:

First, The Greater Shirk
The Greater Shirk means either to worship other than Allah Almighty or to make partners with Allah in something that is specifically His; for example, to take someone as His partner in worship, obedience, love, fear, supplication, and the seeking of help.

When one associates partners with Allah - regardless of who that partner is, such as a man, animal, plant, or inanimate object - one has perpetrated the Greater Shirk, examples of which are as follows:

• To supplicate to that partner as one supplicates to Allah.
• To love that partner as one loves Allah.
• To hope from that partner as one hopes from Allah.
• To submit oneself in obedience to that partner as one submits in obedience to Allah.
• To fear that partner as one fears Allah.
• To seek ruling or judgment from other than Allah's Shari'ah.

Allah Almighty says:

Worship Allah and join none with Him in worship. [An-Nisa' 4:36]

Of course, the Greater Shirk is the worst and most severe kind of Shirk; indeed, it is the greatest sin with Allah, for Allah does not accept any deed from its perpetrator, regardless of how pious he may be otherwise. If one dies, associating partners with Allah, Allah will not forgive him, for He says:

Verily, Allah forgives not that partners should be set up with him in worship, but He forgives except that (anything else) to whom He pleases, and whoever sets up partners with Allah in worship, he has indeed invented a tremendous sin. [An-Nisa' 4:48]

Whoever dies upon this form of Shirk is from the dwellers of the Hellfire, for the Prophet Muhammad (SAW) said:

Whoever dies calling upon other than Allah as a rival, he enters the Hellfire. [Al-Bukhari in the Book of Tafsir (5:153) and Muslim (1:94) from Ibn Mas'ud.]

In another Hadith, the Prophet (SAW) said:

Whoever meets Allah without associating partners with Him enters Paradise. Whoever meets Him, associating any partner with Him enter the Hellfire. [Recorded by Muslim (1:94) from Jabir.]

The Muslim, therefore, worships and invokes only Allah, and submits only to Him, for Allah Almighty says:

Say: "Verily, my Salat (prayer), my sacrifice, my living, and my dying are for Allah, the Lord of the 'Alamin (mankind, jinn and all that exists). He has no partner. And of this I have been commanded, and I am the first of the Muslims." [Al-An'am 6:162,163. Included here is one whom people see doing a righteous deed, but he did not do it out of sincerity, and also one who does a righteous deed secretly but wants to let people know about it.]

Second, The Lesser Shirk
It consists of various categories:

1. A small amount of Riya' (doing good deeds for show); for example, when one prays, fasts, or gives charity, he is seeking other than Allah's Face; hence, he is mixing good deeds with bad ones.

The Prophet (SAW) said:

What I fear most for you is the Lesser Shirk.

When asked about it, he (SAW) said:

Riya'. [Imam Ahmad (4:126) and Ibn Majah (2:1406) from Shaddad bin 'Aws. Ahmad also recorded it from a Hadith of Mahmud bin Lubaid (5:428).]

When one performs any good deed or act of worship to impress or please people thereby, then he has committed Riya', which is forbidden. In another Hadith related by Shaddad bin 'Aws, may Allah be pleased with him, the Prophet (SAW) said:

Whoever prays, showing off to others, he has indeed committed Shirk; whoever fasts, showing off to others, he has indeed committed Shirk; whoever gives charity, showing off to others, he has indeed committed Shirk. [Agreed upon. Recorded by Al-Bukhari (3:195), Muslim (1:92) from Abu Hurairah, may Allah be pleased with him.]

2. Another form of the Lesser Shirk is to swear by anyone other than Allah, for instance, to swear by the Prophet (SAW), by the Ka'bah, or by one's parents. In an authentic Hadith related by 'Umar, may Allah be pleased with him, the Prophet (SAW) said:
Indeed, Allah has forbidden you from swearing by your fathers; whoever makes an oath, let him swear by Allah or remain silent.

3. Another form of the Lesser Shirk is for one to say the following expressions:

• "What Allah wills and what you will."
• "This is from Allah and from you."
• "I am what I am because of Allah and because of you."
• "I have no one but Allah and you."
• "I place my trust upon Allah and upon you."
• "Were it not for Allah and you, such and such would (or wouldn't) have happened."

Based on one's intention when saying these phrases, this category may even become a form of the Greater Shirk.

[Credit goes to 'What Must Be Known About Islam', a comprehensive book, compiled by Muhammad bin 'Ali Al-Arfaj, translated by Darussalam, global leaders in Islamic books.]

The four Hadiths around which the entire Religion revolves

The First Hadith:

Indeed deeds are based on intentions, and for each person is that what he intended.

Deeds of speech or action, both outward and inner deeds – none are complete without intention (Niyyah), a fact that shows the great significance of intention in Islam. When one does a good deed without intention, he benefits nothing from that deed and Allah Almighty doesn't accept it from him.

And for each person is that which he intended.

If by his deed, one sincerely worships Allah, seeking His pleasure alone, then from Allah he will have a reward; but if he intended some worldly benefit, making his worship a means of achieving that benefit, or if he had a wicked intention, then his is that which he intended, and his accountability is with Allah.

The Second Hadith:

The lawful is clear and the unlawful is clear…

In the plain verses of His Book, Allah clarified this for, and the Messenger of Allah (SAW) explained it to us in his pure Shari'ah. The lawful is clear: it is that which souls find comfort in, matters in which there is no doubt whatsoever; and that the unlawful is clear for one who wishes to stay away from it. Between the lawful and unlawful are matters that are not so clear. If a Muslim stays away from those matters, he will have safeguarded his religion and honor. But whoever hovers around those matters will necessarily fall into what is prohibited. We must fear Allah in our sayings and deeds, taking the clear path that Allah and His Messenger (SAW) delineated for us. In a Hadith:

Leave that which causes you doubt to that which doesn't cause you doubt.

Meaning, leave that which you are not sure about – is it lawful and harmless or not? And instead go to that which you have certain knowledge about – that it is indeed lawful and harmless.

The Third Hadith:

From the goodness of one's Islam is to leave that which does not concern him.

Under Islam come faith and Ihsan. This Hadith is one of the foundations of the religion. The Muslim is described with one of two qualities: he is either one who is upright, obeying Allah and His Messenger's commandments, staying away from meaningless matters – then he is the true Muslim. Then there is one who follows up on meaningless speech and action, not deeming himself to be above rumors and false speech – he has deviated from the true and upright religion. Let us consider the Prophet's saying:

The Muslim is he from whom the Muslims are safe, safe from his tongue and his hand.

The Fourth Hadith:

Whoever introduces into this matter of ours that which is not from it, then it is rejected.

This proves that every innovation introduced in the religion – meaning that it doesn't have a basis in the Qur'an or Sunnah, ragardless of whether it is a saying or a deed, such as those deeds that Allah didn't legislate and the Prophet Muhammad (SAW) didn't command us with – then it is rejected for the one who introduced it. This is because his action is not founded on the Qur'an and Sunnah. Whoever's action is in agreement with Allah's Book and His Messenger's Sunnah, his action is accepted – by the Will of Allah.

[Credit goes to 'What Must Be Known About Islam', a comprehensive book, compiled by Muhammad bin 'Ali Al-Arfaj, translated by Darussalam, global leaders in Islamic books.]

How the youth can protect themselves from the evil effects of late marriage?

The importance of marriage & its effects on protecting young men & women from fornication & sexual deviation is a matter that is well known to people of knowledge, wisdom, & foresight.

The Prophet Muhammad (SAW) said,

O group of youth: Whoever from you is able to pay the dowry (Mahr), then let him marry, for that will better help you protect your private parts (from evil) & will better help you lower your gazes. & whoever is not able (to pay the dowry), then upon him is fasting, for it decreases his sexual drive.

Indeed a noble cause it is for scholars, parents, writers, & those who are respected in society to work together, finding practical ways to help realize early marriage for individuals in our Muslim societies, a cause that can be furthered by mutual counsel, cooperation, & theoretical as well as practical studies. Such efforts will - if Allah wills - benefit society & protect it from the evil effects of late marriage.

[Credit goes to 'What Must Be Known About Islam', a comprehensive book, compiled by Muhammad bin 'Ali Al-Arfaj, translated by Darussalam, global leaders in Islamic books.]

The remembrance by two is superior than one

It is reported from Imam Nawawi (RA) that remembering Allah with both the heart & the tongue is superior than remembering with the heart only.

The reason for this is that the occupation of the two parts of the body in an act that Allah is pleased with is superior to the occupation of one part only. Likewise, the engagement of three parts is greater than two, thus the more the better.

Therefore, we should engage our three organs: the heart, the tongue, & the ears, when we are in Salah or busy in the remembrance of Allah.

By doing this, firstly your zikr will be counted as three times more & it will also be superior to the zikr with only one or two organs. Secondly, by engaging three organs at the same time it will terminate the evil satanic suggestions and thoughts that arise in Salah caused by the devil.

The method for this is that what ever you recite with your tongue; recite it with the presence of the heart, loud enough to hear it with your own ears. In this way, your three organs will be employed in the remembrance of Allah.

As well as this, if you count your zikr on your fingers rather than using a rosary, you will engage four parts/organs. This is also instigated in a Hadith, to count on your fingers. However, it is slightly difficult to engage four parts of the body in the remembrance of Allah at the same time.

(Only Allah can give the ability to act upon this, and Allah does not deprive his beloved dear servants.)

[Credit goes to 'Mountains Of Good Deeds In A Few Minutes' by Abu Talha Muhammad Younus.]

Should I confess?

One may ask, "I would like to repent, but is it necessary for me to confess & declare my sins before another? Is it a condition of repentance that I should go before a judge and recount my crimes and seek their punishment? The previous stories of Ma'iz, the guilty woman, & the man who kissed a girl in a garden seem to suggest that this may be necessary."

It must first be mentioned that a person's direct contact with his Lord without any intermediaries is an important aspect of belief in the unity of Allah. Allah states in the Qur'an:

And when My servants ask you concerning Me - indeed I am near. I respond to the invocation of the supplicant when he calls upon Me. [Surah al-Baqarah, 2:186]

When we admit that repentance to Allah, then the confession of sin should also be only to Allah. In fact, one of the most superior invocations for Allah's forgiveness is that which the Prophet (SAW) used to supplicate:

I acknowledge before You Your favor upon me, and I acknowledge my sin. [Al-Bukhari & an-Nasa'i]

By the grace of Allah we do not have to seek the intercession of a priest, a chair of confession, a certificate of pardon, etc. On the contrary, the Qur'an states:

Do they not know that it is Allah who accepts repentance from His servants? [Surah at-Tawbah, 9:104]

As mentioned earlier, one is not obligated to go to the authorities and confess his sins, for he whom Allah has concealed his error should likewise conceal it himself. His repentance before his Lord will be sufficient. One description of Allah is "sateer," which implies that He is the one who conceals the sins & shortcomings of His creatures.

Those companions who confessed their crimes (such as Ma'iz, the woman who committed adultery & the man who kissed a woman in the garden) did so only because they chose to out of an intense desire to purify themselves. It was not binding upon them; rather, the told Prophet Muhammad (SAW) about their situations out of concern for the Hereafter. The Prophet (SAW) purposely tried not to pay attention to Ma'iz's disclosure, as well as that of the man. 'Umar's statement that Allah would have kept it secret if the man who kissed in the garden had not exposed it also indicates the same attitude. The Prophet (SAW) kept silent upon hearing 'Umar's statement, showing assent to the remark.

Therefore, it is not necessary to go to court and register a confession when Allah has concealed one's sin. Nor is it required to go to the imam of a Masjid or to request punishment or to seek the help of a friend to lash you indoors, as some people imagine. The following story illustrates how harmful it can be to consult ignorant people in religious affairs.

It was reported that a man wanted to repent, so he went to an imam, confessed his sins, & asked for a solution. The imam told him, "The first this you should do is to go to the court and confess your crimes there. They will punish you according to the Shari'ah (Islamic Law). Then we will consider how you can repent." When the man realized that he would not to be able to bear the legal punishment, he decided not to repent & went back to his former condition.

We must be reminded that this religion is a trust upon us, & it is of utmost importance that we seek its rulings from their proper source. Allah instructed us:

Ask the people of the message, if you do not know. [Surah an-Nahl, 16:43]

And He said:

(He is) the Most Merciful, so ask about Him one well-informed." [Surah al-Furqan, 25:59]

Not every imam or mu'adhdhin or professional speaker can give religious verdicts, nor can every writer or preacher deliver rulings. However, the common should know who to consult. Indeed, the Prophet (SAW) feared the appearance of a people who would misguide their subordinates through wrong rulings. One scholar has advised, "Knowledge itself is religion. Therefore, take care as to whom you obtain it from." So beware of pitfalls & seek trustworthy scholars in matters in which you doubt.

[Credit goes to 'I Would Like To Repent But!' by Muhammad Saleh al-Munajjid.]